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Videogames is a complete waste of time (Сочинения ЕГЭ английский язык)

11 из 14
Оценка эксперта внизу

Some people claim that playing videogames is time-consuming and useless, others have an opposite point of view. Let us examine this problem more closely.

In my opinion, people, who play computer games, waste their time. Firstly, videogames decrease the amount of face-to-face communication, so people, who often play games, become unsociable. Secondly, people can spend their time to develop some job skills, that can be very beneficial for their career, instead of sitting in front of a computer and playing games. Thirdly, those, who spend hours in front of the screen, can gain a lot of problems with their health.

However, not all people share my point of view. They say that computer games are a great way to relax after a tough day. Moreover, people can make friends, while playing online games.

I am afraid, I can not agree with the above mentioned statement, as people can read a book, watch a film or take a bath in order to have some rest after a busy day.

Furthermore, there is a lot of crime in the Internet, so it can be very dangerous to make friends online.

Taking into consideration all mentioned above, I am convinced that there are a lot of disadvantages in internet games and people should cut down the amount of their time on playing videogames.

Обновлено:
Опубликовал(а):
Оценка эксперта:

К1 - содержание.

Аспект 2. не все аргументы отражают изначальное высказывание. (аргумент 3 не говорит о трате времени)

Аспект 3. не все аргументы, данные в абзаце 2, опровергнуты.

К2 - организация.Балл может быть снижен за логику (из-за ошибок в К1)

К3 - лексика.

in the Internet(ON the Internet)

К4 - грамматика.Грубых грамматических ошибок нет.

К5 - орфография и пунктуация

people, who play computer games, waste their time(Запятые не нужны, т.к. придаточное несет смысл)

so people, who often play games, become unsociable(Запятые не нужны, т.к. придаточное несет смысл)

those, who spend hours in front of the screen, can gain a lot of problems with their health.(Запятые не нужны, т.к. придаточное несет смысл)

В целом:

К1-2

К2-2

К3-3

К4-3

К5-1

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